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Liar Liar Your Dreams On Fire! What lies beneath that keeps you stuck?
We all tell ourselves lies, about ourselves. I cringed when I
first thought about it. But we all do it. Tell ourselves things
about ourselves that arent true.
You know the voice that says, Im insecure or I dont know how
to handle money or Im no good at making friends or Ill
never be successful or Im a loser. We make up lies about
ourselves and the problem is those thoughts lies keep us
stuck.
What is the lie youre telling yourself? And why is it
devastating to your life?
STAR EXAMPLE
What if Hilary Swank had told herself she couldnt act? What if
she had told herself she was a loser after getting fired from the
TV show 90210. Hilary Swank is a high school dropout and
considered to be the best actress ever by Clint Eastwood. What
if instead of following her dream she had listened to lies?
She got the part for the movie Boys Dont Cry Oscar and won an
Oscar after getting fired from 90210. If youve seen her in
Million Dollar Baby you know shes done it again listened to
her heart not to any lies.
CLIENT EXAMPLE
Im coaching a wonderful 45-year-old woman Helen - who told me
and herself that she was dependent and needed others to take care
of her. Now when I listen to her and connect with her I dont
pick up dependent.
I feel and hear the strength in her that she has forgotten is
there.
And Helen wanted to travel, take workshops, cooking classes,
maybe even move to another city. But she was afraid to do those
things on her own.
So as we explored this story / lie she began to realize that the
story of being dependent came from her mother who was very
domineering and wanted to control Helen. She managed to do just
that, and Helen let her.
So lets look in more detail at what happened and how Helen dealt
with it.
Her mother had been controlling and told Helen she couldnt do
anything on her own. She criticized and judged her; told her she
was incompetent, lazy and stupid and could never amount to
anything. She better stick around and let her mother take care
of her, otherwise she would need to marry a man to take care of
her.
So Helen remained dependent on her mother. She began to
believe the lies her mother told her and eventually told herself
the same lie Im dependent. Im not like other people, I
cant do things on my own. Like take a vacation alone, or go to
a workshop in another city, much less live in another city.
After her mother died, Helen married a man who treated her just
like her mother. He really eroded her self-confidence. Even
though she eventually divorced him she still didnt believe she
could be independent.
Whenever she wanted to do something for herself, the lie Im
dependent would come up and keep her from doing what she wanted
to do.
In order to get her unstuck, we revealed the lie and looked at
all the times and things she had done in her life that indicated
she wasnt dependent on others.
After all, she had divorced her husband, gone to college and
lived on campus. She had changed jobs several times to move up
and she was smart.
There were many examples. She just didnt acknowledge them
because she was looking at everything from the perspective of
Im dependent.
Once she realized she had done things that a truly dependent
woman wouldnt have done, she changed her perspective from Im
dependent to Im independent and I can make it on my own and
its okay, even healthy, to ask friends for help when necessary.
WHATS YOUR LIE?
Is it: Ill never get married or Ill never be happy or
Ill never be able to buy a house in California or Im not
good enough to get hired for a job I really want?
Whatever your dream is, if you arent living it, check in with
yourself and see if you are telling yourself a lie that is
blocking you and keeping you stuck.
Do you want a new career, a new relationship, a better paying
job, a different job with fun people, a new wardrobe or to go on
an exotic vacation?
If you arent actively working towards something meaningful, you
might be telling yourself a lie that is keeping you from having
that in your life.
HOW DO YOU MOVE FROM LIE TO TRUTH?
So the first step is to uncover your story / lie. Once youve
done that, look at the negative statement underneath the story.
Thats the lie. Then admit that its a lie.
Someone may have told you that lie, or you may have formed it to
protect yourself, or to keep yourself from taking a risk. It can
help to know the reason and right now we are focusing on the
actual lie.
Once youve uncovered the lie, look to see a new perspective you
can choose to stand in.
What would God say about you, what would your angels say, or your
best friend, or a loving grandmother or grandfather?
Choose their perspective and stand in that perspective. Throw
the lie out.
God, Source, Spirit whatever you want to call the divine, didnt
create an imperfect, flawed human being. We create that with our
lies.
You are a child of God, Spirit, Source and that makes you
perfect, connected and loved.
So give that love back to yourself. Get up and take an action
step toward having what you want. And when, and if, the lie pops
up again tell it to get lost. Its just a lie. Its not the
truth. You are a precious child of the divine. Thats the
truth.
Get moving!
Imagine the possibilities...
Carol C. Chanel,
2005 Certified Life Coach
C.P.C.C.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Carol Chanel is a Certified Life Coach who works with clients by
phone, from all over the world, to help them get UNSTUCK, have
healthy relationships, improve their love lives and feel great
about themselves.
You can contact her at:
http://www.carolchanel.com
mailto:carol@carolchanel.com
310-998-8860
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